Chapter 8: 'The introduction of 'Miss Puerto Rico''

'Better Than This' the blog

It's the next day.

I wake up on the floor in Eric’s old office. The only difference from this day and any other day prior to, last night will be the last time I ever sleep in this office ever again and last night was the last time I will ever be homeless again. Speaking of, I also signed a month to month agreement with my new roommate last night with the contingency that I cannot move any furniture in until I pay him my first two weeks of pay. I’m able to move in but I’m not able to move any furniture in and to be honest, the jokes on him, because homeless people don’t have furniture.

Now I can’t tell you how amazing this feels, after being homeless for months and (officially) no longer be homeless. I have a home guys, I have a home! Lets back track for a moment, I was evicted out of my condo, evicted out of this office that I’ve been living in for smelling foul, I had lost my GF, my family, my son, my ride, my job and my income. I had been living on nickels and dimes that I found in the cracks of sidewalks, to eat food that I didn’t have to fish out of a garbage dumpster. I have one duffel bag of clothing and one friend, Eric. I have also finally found a job and because of that job, found a new room for rent. Officially taking me out of homelessness and hopelessness and I have done (what most would call) the impossible. I’m not out of the woods yet by any means but I have possibility and hope and my new found income doesn’t hurt either. 

Now, I know that I have found a job (even though I haven’t started yet) I’m still going to look for better work. That pays better than $8.75 an hour. Yes, I just landed a new job, yes I just landed a new place and yes, technically I'm no longer homeless and I should be grateful, yes I should be satisfied, but I'm not. I want more. I want better. I need better. Not just for myself but for the sake of SJ. I need to be that shining example of failing and falling hard on your face and not only getting back up, but getting back up surpassing everything you were to become everything I ever wanted to be. This starts with demanding better, not asking, demanding better. So it's back to Craigslist I go, to continue to look for a better job. Crazy I know, but this new me is revitalized, refreshed, and determined.

I send out my resume to what seems like 1,000 companies with new job openings on Craigslist. Nothing has come back yet and after an hour my attention drifts off to, how am I going to get to and from work next week? Well, time to start planning my route! My new job starts Tuesday and I don’t have any time to waste.

I MapQuest the address to my new condo (yaay!) and then map it to my new jobs address, by car it's 28 minutes and 16 miles all together. Next I check the bus routes and of course, there aren't any buses that travel to that part of Summerlin at all… great. Nothing comes easy these days. I'm assuming that my new potential neighbors would never have a 'city' bus driving through their communities.. smog'n up the place, ruining where they rest at. See in the surrounding communities there are, gated, 2 million dollar homes. These homes are quite large and how does a man going from homeless to living next to millionaires (I assume that they are millionaires because they are living in million dollar homes) get here anyways? Anyhow, there aren’t any bus routes near where I'm going to be living and I know this is nowhere near as big as a problem as being out on the streets but, it doesn’t take away from the fact that this is still going to be tough. This trying to get back and forth without a dime for transportation is going to be tough. Without money for transportation, that would mean that I will be potentially walking 16 miles a day (or 32 miles round trip) to work and even if I left today, I still wouldn’t be able to make it there on time on Tuesday… or will I?  Then it hits me, how long does it take to walk a mile? I don't know? I know I've walked a lot since losing my truck but, I've never timed myself? Then I got an idea. I look down at my remaining $5 in rolled up nickels. I look at my duffel bag in the corner, then back to my nickels. I got it! Dollar Store baby!! I'll walk to the Dollar Store. Here's why? This is genius! I'll walk to the Dollar Store which is just over 1 mile (I think) from Eric's old office suite and time myself. Not only that but with $5 in rolled up nickels (which I know they will except) I can get 5 boxes of Cheez-its or some type of snacks/food for the next five days or so. This is perfect. I know what you're thinking, 'why didn't you just walk to the Dollar Store for food vs. spending it at Subway in the first place?' Well because you can't live off of snack food (even though I'm forced to right now) plus I needed the nutrients that you can find in a Subway sandwich to live off of but also because, well, Subway was just 15 feet away vs. over a mile (one way) for the Dollar Store. So convenience won, I guess? Anyhow, I MapQuest the address to the Dollar Store against Eric's old office. Just over 1 mile, yes! Perfect. I empty out my duffel bag of all my old smelly clothing. I grab my saved up $5 in rolled up nickels and take the first step out of the office to embark on my one mile walk/journey with timing myself as a major priority.

Now keep this in mind, I start off by walking down North Rainbow Blvd. Now this is sort of a major street in the local suburbs of Las Vegas it is and can be very congested as times. People use this road to scoot from the North West part of town to the South West in no time and as I walk, I can't help but to think how many people I know, are passing me by right now and even if they noticed me at all? Because I haven’t been able to shower or shave in months, I’ve grown out my beard completely and it looks horrendous. I can image them passing me by as I’m walking, noticing me and asking themselves "Was that Siloh? ... No! Can’t be!" This is a little embarrassing for sure. But who cares, it's not as embarrassing as being homeless or convincing a convenience store clerks to please take my $1 of rolled up pennies at the register so I can eat tonight. So I brush it off and finally make it to the Dollar Store.

Time check! I look down at my phone, over a mile and a half in just under 20 minutes! And I walked my ass off! So naturally, I'm sweating. Showing up to work sweating will not work and if I have to walk there every day? Not good. I'll try not to walk so briskly next time. I sit down on a bench next to the Dollar Store to do the math. Thinking to myself, 'lets see, if one mile walking equals 20 minutes then 16 miles walking at 20 minutes per mile will take me 5 and a half hours.’ So if I had to be at work at 9am I would have to leave my new pad and start walking at 4:30 am, the latest.' Now the same for at night, after work, if I get off at 5pm and it takes the same amount of time to walk home, that means that I will not be getting home until 10:30pm at night. Combined to and from work walking I would be walking 32 miles a day, both ways and walking for over 10 hours each day, Monday-Friday. I would be walking to work longer than it would take me to actually work my day? This is not a good solution for my transportation worries….enough calculating for now, time to get something to eat.

I head inside the Dollar Store excited to get my shopping started! Why? Because tonight I get to place all of my purchased items in cabinets and a refrigerator! I haven't used cabinets or a refrigerator in months! Not to mention, I was kind of starting to miss these things. I get a box of impostor Cheez-its, spaghetti, rice, spaghetti sauce and a gallon of water and with that, it's officially good bye to my last $5 in rolled nickels. Good bye to the last amount of currency I have to my name. I pack up my duffel bag with my Dollar Store food and make the long journey back to Eric's old office. I make it back to the office suite. I look down at my phone. 22 minutes back. Not bad. Still about the 20 minutes it takes to walk a mile. I throw my bag down. Sit on the ground and revisit the idea of getting back and forth next week to my new job. Walking is definitely out of the question and I've already asked Eric for way too much. Wait a minute, (then it hits me)...what about ride share?! Ride share on Craigslist! I’ve gone from homeless to getting a job to getting a place to stay, I’m sure I can work this out!

So what is ride share? Well, if you're not familiar with Ride share. It's an idea of two people coming together for one ride. Where the driver (the owner of the car) might be heading in one direction alone and could use some company. What they will do is, pick you up (as long as you are going in the same general direction as they are) and give you a ride in that direction as long as it’s where they are going or if not close to. In exchange, they will accept donations in the form of gas money, tolls, food, some will even take trades (like laptops) (depending on the distance because some will ride share from LA to NYC) or whatever. There are ride shares here locally in Las Vegas that just ride around Vegas all day long looking for people to help split the cost of gas for a ride. Dangerous, yeah I know. Broke too, yeah I know, but I have 32 miles a day I have to cover to get to and from work, plus I don’t really have too many options. Time to hit up Craigslist once again! Why not? It’s been good to me so far. I've found my first job since becoming homeless on Craigs! I’ve found my new place on Craigs, so why change a thing?

I get up and head over to the desk top again. I open up Craigslist. I head over to the ride share section and start to look up ads for local people offering local rides. Now this is where it gets tricky. I have to (not only) find someone who is offering local rides but also have to find someone who will be willing give me a ride, everyday, Monday-Friday, without paying them one penny and I have to convince them, that they will have to wait three weeks, before I can afford to pay them for driving me around. So here's the plan, my paycheck for the first two weeks is already gone (it’s my new roommates, I owe it to him for letting me move in without paying rent or a deposit) The Third weeks check, that paycheck is open to be spent however I please. This paycheck (from what I am planning) will have to go to my ride share to get me to and from work. Not the whole check but I'm thinking $300…which equates to $20 a day in gas money, from Monday-Friday, everyday, for the next three weeks. Now if you're doing the math, $8.75 an hour (which is basically $8.00 an hour after taxes) so $8.00 an hour times 40 hours a week is just $320. $300 of which is going to whoever decides to take me up on my offer (leaving me with just $20 after working there for three weeks.) Twenty bucks? Not a lot of money but, it's a lot more than what I have right now in my pocket and after everything that I've been through; I can definitely live on just $20. Lets be honest, $20 in my pocket would be a blessing so, I believe it's a fair deal.

I find 25 ads on Craigs for ride shares and I start to call them up, immediately.

Here is what I basically heard on the first 15 calls, "Fuck off" “Are you fuck’n crazy?” “Are you fuck’n stupid?” I kind of expected that, but the next 5 calls after those were a lot nicer but more along the lines of…"Call me back when you get some money in your pocket and I'll be more than happy to give you a ride anywhere then." The remaining 5 calls, I decide not to take any more chances trying to explain my way around not having any money. So I told them the truth. I told them that I was homeless and that I am just now getting back on my feet and basically pleaded with them (out of the good graces of their hearts) for them to give me rides to and from work, I begged basically. Three said ‘no thanks’ but two were slightly interested! So we decided to meet. We would meet at the 7-11 which was a place where I spent most all of my rolled up change on bags of Doritos to get by, but also because it was a well known place and a mere 10 feet from the office building I was sleeping in.. so it was the perfect place to meet.

Ride Share Driver #1 - He was a younger black guy. He was a UNLV student looking to make some extra money for beer and books. He was down to give me rides but wanted some kind of collateral up front first? To be honest, I became frustrated because it felt like, one I had just wasted my time but two, because it was like he didn’t believe me. That he didn’t believe that I was homeless. I wanted to scream at him, "are you kidding me, we talked for 20 minutes! Did you not listen to anything I said?" "You know my deal. You know I have nothing and need someone to give me rides to my new job upfront and need someone to give me those rides upfront in exchange for $300 bucks later?" But I didn't say anything like that. I understood where he was coming from. He would have to trust that this smelly old guy, a stranger who was obviously going through some hard times would be able and willing to pay him $300 bucks three weeks from now? Please? So, we exchanged numbers again and he said (something that I am starting to get familiar with)"as soon as you come up with something of value that I can hold onto until you pay me my $300, then I'll do it." No hard feelings. He was truly a good guy. I hope he's does well.

Ride Share Driver #2 (we’ll call her Miss Puerto Rico) - This one is a woman. She’s young as well, probably in her mid 20's maybe? She’s slightly older than “Brady.” She’s also a single mother with four kids (I guess I was wrong about her being in her mid 20's.) She’s Puerto Rican from Bed Stuy New York. In this moment, I only wish my Spanish was a little better than it was right now…after all, I learned it from Puerto Ricans. We start to talk. About being back on the East Coast and how it’s so different out here. I tell her about my trips I had taken to Puerto Rico. My trips out to Old San Juan and out to Mayawest. We had so much in common and hit it off almost immediately. She was here alone (with her four kids obviously), no family here on the West Coast and she had moved here for a brand new start (to basically get away from her abusive ex-husband.) She was amazing. She was an inspiration. She was so strong to be raising four children by herself in a town where she knew no one and had no help. She kind of reminded me of my Mom who raised us (almost) under the same exact circumstances.

She agreed to give me rides to and from work Monday through Friday starting Tuesday of next week. She agreed to the $300 cash due at the end of those three weeks! Unlike “Bradly” she was willing to give me rides without wanting anything for collateral up front! This is amazing. She did make me make one promise, that I would never try anything or jeopardize her safety in any way. I obviously have no problem with this and agreed completely and immediately. We laughed for a little while. I was making ‘Snaps’ (aka Yo Mama) jokes about her being Puerto Rican, having four kids, and growing up in Bed Stuy. She took her jabs too! With me being from ‘Dirty Jersey’ it was pretty easy for her too. It was fun. It reminded me of being back home. With pleasure, we shook hands, gave a quick hug and she went on her way. I probably double checked with reminded her like 35 times to not forget about Tuesday. I mean what I can say; I’m excited! I was so happy and at the same time really nervous and hoping that she wouldn't change her mind in between now and Tuesday.

This is just amazing! I have no idea how all of this is coming together or how any of these amazing people are coming into my life right now all I know is that I'm celebrating inside. After months of being homeless, I have a room for rent, I’m going to be taking a shower, I’m going to be shaving again, I have a roof over my head, I have $5 in food, I have a job and I have transportation to and from it and the winds of change are now starting to positively blow in my direction! I'm feeling amazing! I'm feeling..... Human again.

For more read my next blog post
'I’m starving but, I’m used to that by now.'
'Better Than This' the blog

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Chapter 3: 'What's wrong with you?'

'Better Than This' the blog

'What's wrong with you?'

So, I have been hitting the job sites and postings on every job related website imaginable pretty hard lately and of course, where I live, in Las Vegas, the unemployment rate is currently at 14.5%, go figure. Anyhow, after my mental break down (I like to call it a breakthrough) I've noticed that I’ve gotten pretty lucky lately because I was able not just sent out my resume to a good handful of jobs but I’ve been able to line up four interviews today as a result and (my new and only friend in the world) Eric is available today and is willing to drive me to them all! Thank you lord, this is amazing. Who knows, there just might be a way out of this being homeless thing after all?!

And if you can believe this, on my way back from the bathroom my old boss (before Eric) just called me out of nowhere! He told me that he had an old paycheck for me? Commissions check that they’ve had for quite some time and that I never picked it up and obviously never cashed? I mean can you believe this?!! I say this with extreme happiness and a smile on my face from ear to ear but, “what is going on right now?”  Not only has it never been picked up or cashed but, they have it waiting for me! I had to ask. “How much is it?” My old boss says “Sixty dollars!” My reply; ….... "$60!!!” “Are you kidding me?” “Where are you? I’ll pick it up right now!” “I'll be there in 2.5 seconds!"

I'm sure they never had anyone so ecstatic about picking up a $60.00 paycheck before in the entire existence of their business. I'm probably still talked about around the water cooler today about my reaction but, what can I say, God is good and this is an incredible opportunity to get back on my feet! He says “I’m on the strip about to eat right now. Why don’t you come by and pick it up. I’ll be here for a little while.”

We hang up and I immediately call Eric.

I can’t seem to dial his number fast enough. I finally get his number typed in and my phone starts ringing. Eric picks up.

Eric: “Sup?”

Me: “I know that you have already agreed to give me a ride to my four interviews today and I totally appreciate it but, please, please tell me that you are available like right now?”

Eric: “Not really but why, what’s up?”

Me: “My old boss before you just called me and told me that one of my old clients called up and placed an order about a month ago and that they had a commission check waiting for me!”

Eric: “Oh, that’s huge! How much is it?”

Me: “$60!”

(Silence)

Eric: “Oh, well $60 bucks is good.”

(I know that he was just trying to be polite. He knows that $60 isn’t shit and I know that too but who gives a shit, $60 in cold hard cash is everything to me right now!)

Me: “Well? Can you come by the office now? He’s on the strip eating and I have to get over there before he’s finished.”

Eric: “Sure. Give me 15.”

Me: “Man, you are too awesome. Thank you soo much bro!”

Eric: “No prob. I’ll be there in a bit.”

We hang up and I can’t believe how excited I am. I feel like I just won the lottery. Like I want to do something? I want to go run a mile in record timing! I want to jump through these walls and over this building. But then my excitement is immediately crushed when I look down on the ground and see my clothes that are wrapped up and used as a make shift pillow and my crusty socks lying next to them. I am reminded once again of the fact that I am homeless and that this will be the first interaction with anyone that I will have (besides Eric) with knew me prior and my life before. He’s going to see me and immediately recognize the fact that I am homeless just by the clothes that I am wearing. If he even notices me at all. Fuck me.

I take a look around as if new clothes will magically pop up in a corner or out from beneath a desk somehow. Too late, my phone rings, it’s Eric. I answer. He says “I’m here.” I hang up. I’m officially leaving this office to meet my old boss (before Eric) looking homeless. This is going to be embarrassing.  

I leave the office. Hop in Eric’s truck and we head down to the strip. It’s not long before we get there. I call him to see if best case scenario he can have someone he’s with come down and bring the check to me so that I do not have to see him.

My old boss (we’ll call him Dwayne)

‘Dwayne’: “Yo! Where are you at?”

Me: “I’m here. Hey, can you have someone bring the check down to us. We’re double parked (a little white lie) and my friend doesn’t want to get towed.”

‘Dwayne’: “Are you kidding, bring your ass up here! I haven’t seen you in forever man!”

(I should have known this wasn’t going to be that easy)

Me: “But like I said, we’re double parked.”

‘Dwayne’: (cutting me off) “Bro, get your ass up here!”

(He hangs up)

After he hangs up, I look down at my phone and wait 5 seconds, hoping that he would call me back, having changed his mind and was sending someone down to deliver my check. No luck. I turn to Eric

Me: “Looks like we’re going up.”

Eric: “There?... And you……”

(I know what he wanted to say, “And you, looking the way you look” but he didn’t, because he is a friend, he couldn’t say it)

Me: “Yep, I need that check.”

Eric: (hesitantly) “Ok, then if that’s what you need, then lets go get it.”

What a great friend he is. He could have easily said that he’ll stay in the car and wait as I go get it but he didn’t. He coming with me and that by itself is the essence of what friends are for.

We get out of his car and head up the escalator on the strip and up the stairs to the restaurant my old boss is at. I have one thing on my mind and that the check for $60.00 so it’s easy for me to miss the looks the host and waitress are giving me as I make my way into the restaurant and pass them to where the eating area is. Just as I get to the dining area I get a text from ‘Dwayne’. ‘I’m upstairs eating along the patio’ it reads. Geez, you mean I have to walk pass even more people smelling the way I do. This check definitely isn’t coming easy. I finally find him up stairs, just like he said, eating along the balcony overlooking the strip. We make eye contact.

Now at this point his eyes once he catches mine go from, ‘there he is!’ to ‘there he is?’ in just 1.5 seconds. It’s as if the closer I got, his eyes where saying the more he wished that I would keep walking and spare him the embarrassment of him having to acknowledge that I know him, at least in public. I get to him.

Me: “What’s up bro! What’s going on?”

‘Dwayne’: (with this look on his face like he cannot believe what he is looking at.) “Um? Nothing.”

‘Dwayne’: “Are you ok?” (And without hesitation) “What’s wrong with you?” ...
'Dwayne': “Are you eating?”…

Me: “Yeah, no I’m fine.. I’m good.Thanks.”

‘Dwayne’: (with my check in his right hand he very, very, slowly, cause he’s still in shock, gives me my check) (I can tell that he still can’t believe what he is looking at)

(he says, with serious concern in his voice) “No seriously. Dude eat with us.” “Do you want a beer?”

Me: “No. I really can’t. I have to be somewhere but I really do appreciate it!”

‘Dwayne’: (with the look of pure shock on his face) “Um, ok man?” “Get better.”

Me: “Thanks.”

Me: (pointing at the check) “Thanks again man.”

‘Dwayne’: “Sure…..”

I give him one last head nod of ‘thanks.’ I turn my back and Eric and I head out. Well… That sucked. The walk to the truck was a long one but as we stepped closer and closer to Eric’s truck my heart started to be just a little bit faster. The experience I just exchanged with ‘Dwayne’ seemed to dissipate with every step I took furthering myself from the restaurant. Why? Because, I have a check in my hand and I can’t wait to get in Eric’s truck to open it, and see the amount, and make sure my name is on it! So exciting! We get to Eric’s truck.

 I hop in and rip open the envelope. What’s on the inside? A check for sure with my name on it (yeah!) the amount of $60.00 (yeah!) and it’s made out to CASH! Fuck yeah! Totally making everything I just went through completely worth it! Fuck yeah I’m so happy right now!  

Eric: “So what now?”

Me: “Check cashing store, fucking food, and then the second hand store.”

Eric: “I get check cashing and fucking food but the second hand store?”

Me: “Yeah, for really, really, cheap used clothes. I do have interviews that I have to get to today. After all, I’m getting a job today. I can feel it!”

Eric: “Ok! Lets do it!”

So, Eric and I take off. We head to the check cashing store, the $1 store and then the second hand store with my new found glory to get me some interview clothes.

Currently I have just one pair of pants, socks, shoes, boxers, and two shirts. I've been in the same clothes, I’ve also been sleeping in them on the floor for months now...without a shower. So not only do I smell funky (I'm sure of it) but, without having access to a washing machine, I'm sure that my clothing smells a hell of a lot worse than I do. And we arrive at the 'bargain' store.

I head to the men's section and quickly begin to go through clothing that was donated by other men who are clearly living a better life than I am right now.

Carefully, I go through donated shirts, pants, and socks, trying to stay within budget and get the cheapest stuff possible. The idea here is to get an entire outfit that I can feel proud of and feel good in. After all I do have interviews today so I have to bring my A game which means I not only 'look' the part, but 'feel' the part as well. I can't start the interview off with, "Hi, my name is Siloh... and I'm homeless, can't you tell?" something tells me that might not work well with landing the job. So I'm going through all kinds of clothing ... locating by price ... then eliminating the ones with rips, stains, and/or tears. Finally! I find something, actually, I find a few things. I run to the changing room with my new found treasure to make sure they fit. Everything fits!! This is amazing! What is today? Is it my lucky day? I bolt out of the changing room area.... run to the check out (and I do mean run!) as if the clothing had an expiration timer on them and If I didn't get to the counter on time, they would explode. She rings me up, just under $40...Cha-Ching!

Now I know what you're thinking you've been surviving on rolled nickels and just got paid $60 and you spent 80% of it on buying clothes? Yes! Remember, I don't have a stove in Eric's homeless man charity office suite and $20 goes a looonngggg way at the Dollar Store (which I will get into in a second.) So I left the second had store with 2 pair of pants, a sweater, a dress shirt, 2 pairs of socks, a new pair of dress shoes and a new hat (I had to, It's the only way to cover my hair which has been obviously neglected due to me being "home-challenged".) Everything matches and is interchangeable so I basically walked out with like 5 outfits for the price of one! So I walk (for the first time today) out of that store feeling as if I somehow, I WAS BACK! This is a great moment, and I just wanted to baste in it, if only for a moment. With change left over Eric and I hit up the Dollar Store for my 'life start over/make over kit' and for some food!

Arriving at the Dollar Store I pick up (1) pair of nail clippers, (1) razor, (1) shaving cream, (1) tooth brush (because the one that changed my life fell into the toilet), tooth paste, under arm deodorant, and mouth wash. I throw them in the cart, now time for food. Ahhh Food!! I get (3) loaves of bread, (2) jars of Peanut Butter, (2) jars of Jelly, and (1) gallon of water. $15 Dollars spent whoo hoo! I don't spend the entire left over $20. I keep $5 in my pocket because; I haven't had any type of dollar anything in my pocket for 3 months plus, this $5 represents more than just money. It represents hope, represents a belief that with a little bit of money in your back pocket and some luck that even a homeless man can take on the world. Not to mention, I have everything that I can ask for. I have the basics! I have food, shelter (even though it's on the floor in Eric's 14 x 16 no window office suite) and clothing. So I keep it, the whole five bucks, in my back pocket, all to myself. We check out. Leave the Dollar Store. What time is it? Crap! We got to get back! I’ve got to get ready for my interviews, pronto!

Eric drops me off at the office building. I say goodbye, thank him a gazillion times and I begin to get out. Right before the door has a chance to "Bang" close behind me, I look up. I just so happen to notice a barber shop on the second floor of the building I'm sleeping in. How did I not notice this before? Is it possible with a few bucks in your back pocket and a little bit of hope that your eyes open up that much wider than they would without them? I don't know. But what I do know is that my mind is too busy coming up with ways of getting my hands on an electric razor to shave this full beard/birds nest off of my face.

Here's the plan now remember I only have $5 bucks and a pocket full of hope and I'm not spending that for nothing! So the plan is to go up there, ask them if I can borrow one of their electric shavers, or hair cutters, so I can get rid of this 'rats nest' called a beard off of my face or at least shave it down to something that's manageable that can easily be shaved off with my new Dollar Store razor.

I eagerly run upstairs.... walk in their door.... everyone (and I mean the one customer getting his hair cut at 10am in the morning and the two other guys that resemble barbers) immediately turn their attention to the door and stare at me as I enter. The guy to my left resembling something of a barber says 'zup?' giving me immediate permission to approach him (at least in my head that's what 'zup' means.) I walk up to him. I ask him "do you work here?" he says, "yeah, what’z zup?"

Now at this point my voice drops down to a whisper. Kind of like a secret 007 mission is about to take place because I do not want anyone else to overhear or know what I'm about to ask him. I ask "do you have a pair of hair clippers I can borrow?" "I need to take this bird’s nest off of my face for a job interview I have today." He eagerly replies "I can take that off for you!" I reply "No, you don't understand, I can't pay you to take it off of my face for me... I don't have any money"....in an even deeper voice I whisper "I'm homeless....I don’t have any money and I really need this right now"... "But I promise to bring them right back to you OR I can shave it off right here, your choice?"....

Time stops.

I recognize this moment, it's the same moment I had in the bathroom when I dropped my tooth brush in the public toilet. For about 30 seconds nothing is said. He tilts his head to the right, looks at me with a strange look as to say "what are you crazy or something?" but nothing is said. The "crazy look" in his eyes seems to slowly dissipate. His head returns back to its regular position and he says...."ok?." I swear I could have kissed him. But he's a big black man and I'm sure he would not have appreciated it. So I ignored the idea of kissing him on the cheek. He says "what unit/office are you in?" I say (like a kid in a candy store, overly excited).. "I’m in 135!" He says "if you're not back in 5 minutes, I'm coming downstairs for my clippers and to fuck you up!" I say, "No problem!" The weird 'crazy look' returns to his eyes again as if he thought that his big black ass coming down to my unit to kick my frail little ass for not returning his clippers, would be somewhat be enjoyed by me.

Not the case but anyhow, he looks down into his barber drawer, digs in and pulls out a pair of really nice hair clippers. He doesn't give these to me.... He puts them in his left hand, bends over, digs down again and pulls out another pair of clippers. These aren't bad either!... He doesn't give these to me either. As a matter of fact he doesn't even look at me. He then goes down for a 3rd time, pulls out a 3rd pair of clippers. He looks at them; he looks at me, and says... "Here, you can use these" and hands me, which I only know now why he was looking so hard, were the shittiest pair of hair clippers known to man! They look like they were originally purchased in the 1970's?? Like he gave Jesus his first fade with these?? But I don't care, nor do I mind. I know he didn't have to say 'Yes' and for that alone I am truly grateful. I dart down to the public bathroom on a mission with my new found best friends hair clippers and new clothes.

Bathroom's available? Yes!! Time to get busy!

I enter the bathroom, lock the door behind me, find an outlet and go to town on my face. Now I can only assume what it might have sounded like outside that bathroom.

Locked door, buzzing sounds, a machine vibrating, a man obviously in pleasure screaming 'Oh yeah! that's what I'm talking about!' ... you get the picture. I don't care. In record timing I cut off the birds nest beard from off of my face. Save myself about ten years. Darting out of that bathroom I head back up the stairs, back into the barber shop, with time to spare. I walk up to that same barber, out of breath as hand him his clippers, he's looks at me and says.."you weren't kidding?".. This time I reply back with a look of my own as to say, 'I told ya!'. Instead I say "thanks." Turn my back to exit and dart out of the barbershop door and back down the stairs. I still need to shave but those clippers saved me a bunch of time. I head back down to the 14 x 16 office suite I've been calling home aka 'Erics homeless man charity sleeper suite', grab my 'life start over/make over Dollar Store kit' and head back to the public bathroom for a second time. This time I head back for what my ex would call, my 'getting pretty' bathroom time.

I shave the rest of the hair that is left on my face off, I cut my finger nails for the first time in months, toe nails (which at this time did resemble 'talons'), wash my face, under my arm pits and man business. I finish up, pack up, take one look in the shiney metal box on the wall aka 'mirror' and say to myself in the mirror .. in all my glory... with a smile on my face ... "Well Mr. Moses, you clean up pretty well, for someone who's homeless."

Read my next diary post:
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
'Better Than This' the blog

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